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Antonio Cassano, Bari (v Inter)
You can hear someone screaming about 30 seconds in. Actually screaming.
Paul Scholes, Manchester United (v Panathanaikos)
A wonderful passing move finished with outrageous confidence.
Graziano Mannari, Milan (v Juventus)
Fuck Barcelona. This is vintage Milan taking the piss out of Juventus
Glenn Hoddle, Tottenham (v Watford)
Flukey bastard.
Francesco Totti, Roma (v Inter)
One of the most beautiful goals ever scored
Johan Cruyff, Ajax
Not convinced this is real
Matt Le Tissier, Southampton (v Wimbledon)
Proper Le Tiss goal, too lazy to move.
Edinson Cavani, Napoli (v Lecce)
Setting a high benchmark for last minute winners
Roberto Baggio, Brescia (v Juventus)
Thinking five moves ahead of everyone else, Baggio’s vision is matched by a ridiculous first touch. I reckon there have only been a handful of players in the history of football that could pull off this goal.
Steve Staunton, Aston Villa (v United)
The sound of the ball smacking against the stanchion is one of the greatest sounds in the known universe.
Wayne Rooney, Manchester United (v Bolton)
People like to pretend they were never impressed by Rooney, but they were, and his interplay with Ronaldo in United’s last great team was wonderful.
Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, Chelsea (v Man United)
I watched this match live on TV, and when Hasselbaink did this, my United supporting flatmate reacted thus: “he fuckin’ shinned it.
Roberto Mancini, Sampdoria (v Napoli)
Before the annoying manager there was this
Henrik Larsson, Sweden (v Bulgaria)
In the middle of this clip is one of the greatest diving headers of ALL TIME.
Lothar Matthäus, Germany (v Yugoslavia)
Aged 11 I hated this Germany team, and hated Matthäus. Brilliant bastard that he was.
Ronnie Radford, Hereford (v Newcastle)
“Oh, what a goal! WHAT A GOAL!”
Roberto Baggio, Italy (v Czeckoslovakia)
This goal reminds me of my dad and how proud he was of his Italian roots during the 1990 world cup, and because he’d been hyping Baggio before the tournament.
Andrea Pirlo, AC Milan (v Parma)
An effortless but ridiculous ranger from Pirlo.
Diego Maradona, Barcelona (v Red Star Belgrade)
I fucking love a good chip especially when the keeper realises he’s completely fucked and doesn’t even waft an arm out. Ace music too.
Wayne Rooney, Manchester United (v Newcastle)
A thunderbastard so powerful it seems to have Old Trafford swaying