I think I had Luis Suarez in mind when I thought of this thread for my blog. Think of a highly skilled footballer who will mostly be remembered for being an utter bastard, and Suarez will be near the top of your list. It was almost too obvious, but seeing as he’s planning to move on from Liverpool this summer, I think the time is right to reflect on his time there. I don’t know if he’s updated his C.V. yet, but it’s going to make an interesting read for the HR department at Real Madrid.
Liverpool, 2011-2013. Key achievements:
- Banned for eight games for racially insulting Patrice Evra.
- Controversial t-shirts featuring my image condemned by anti-racism group.
- Generated enormous media shit storm after refusing to shake hands with Patrice Evra at Old Trafford.
- Manager sacked after spending season tirelessly defending me.
- Banned for ten games for feasting on Branislav Ivanovic.
I know, he’s scored some pretty good goals too, but that’s not what most of us will remember, apart from his beloved fans, for whom this has been a difficult time. True to form, they’ve managed to express their feelings via the medium of hilariously bad poetry (this particular gem is adapted from David Brent’s Princess Di song in The Office):
(Suarez) A thorn, you never used your rose, The ones you loved abandoned you, Your nutmegs made hearts so warm…
— RAWK Meltdown
(Suarez) You helped the club but who helped you? Then rushing through the Chelsea defence, They hounded you, you lost control
— RAWK Meltdown
(Suarez) We prayed that you would get a 3 match ban, The news came through – Your season over… Good night, my sweet prince…
— RAWK Meltdown
During the past couple years, watching Liverpool fans trying to come to terms with the behaviour of their star player and descending into madness has been painful. When facts began to emerge from the investigation into allegations of racist abuse, many resorted to cultural relativism and became overnight experts on Uruguayan culture. But, that was nothing compared to this stunning attempt to draw a comparison between the fallout of Suarez insulting Evra and the Hysel Stadium disaster. So remarkable it required a follow up post to explain the context.
Things got out of hand at Liverpool because once they dug their heels in they felt they couldn’t move. It’ll go down in history as one of football’s biggest PR disasters – a case study of what not to do. Understandably, the behaviour of Suarez and his employer didn’t endear him to many people outside of Liverpool, but there are some. People like Spencer Morgan, son of Piers, whose existence I was unfortunate to discover this week. Apparently, being anti-Suarez makes you against players with personality, or so says Spencer. Personally, I’ve not met anyone who uses racist abuse and bites people that I’ve liked, but maybe I’ve been unlucky. The ‘personality’ argument suggests Suarez being a bastard is excusable because it provides entertainment, as if the alternative is legions of Gareth Barry’s plodding about.
Anyway, if it was just the football side of his game that got him into trouble, I could tolerate Suarez. I don’t really care about the biting, I just think he’s a bit weird. Loads of talented players have lost it on the pitch, like Zidane, Cantona, and Totti. And, Suarez has a point when it comes to criticism of his diving. He dives with the best of them, but I hate the Johnny Foreigner attitude of our mainstream press and their ignorance towards English players that dive, such as the England captain, Steven Gerrard.
Diving and biting aren’t the real issue though. We all like to watch players with a bit of fire inside them, but it is possible to bring a bit devilry onto the pitch and not racially insult someone. The people who defend Suarez get filled with rage when people call him a racist and start rattling off extracts from the findings of his case. But, they can’t explain why he never apologised directly to Evra. If he can’t concede he did something wrong to the person he racially insulted, how can anyone argue he has a right to put it all behind him, as if he is the victim. That just makes the original offence even more insulting. He’s done nothing to make amends other than moan about lies and his treatment by the British press. And that’s what we’ve been hearing from him this past week – ‘they say mean things about me, it’s not nice for my image, everyone is out to get me’ etc.
It seems Suarez will never get it. He’ll never understand why some people haven’t moved on. He has scored some good goals, but will we miss him? No, we won’t miss all that moaning and victim culture bullshit. We won’t miss his refusal to take responsibility for what he’s done. He’s a good footballer, but there are plenty of other good footballers around. Liverpool already have a wonderful player in Coutinho and he appears perfectly capable of performing without trying to antagonise the entire world (so far, so good).
So, Suarez is off to fine a new home where he won’t be persecuted for being a bastard. I’ll leave you with this brilliant illustration from . Good bye, Luis.
