Welcome to my inaugural football photography of the year awards. I decided to come up this utterly meaningless award to recognise the best contributions that photography has made towards capturing the beauty of our beloved national sport. I hope that this non-existent prize will become a regular annual event, much like other meaningless award ceremonies, such as the one recently hosted by the PFA. There were loads of entries this year, and after a careful and entirely arbitrary selection process (looking through some old Tweets) I have whittled them down to a short list of six. Enjoy.
6. Mark Hughes, QPR, November 2012.
One of the few surviving images of Mark Hughes’ reign as QPR manager (Tony Fernandes had the others incinerated) taken during one of his last games in charge, at home to Reading – another team that QPR were unable to beat. Everyone has their own interpretation of what Hughes is thinking here, but I like this photo because it perfectly encapsulates QPR under Hughes in one singe expression.
5) Lads, Bayern Munich, October 2012
As you’d expect this year, there’s been some strong entries from Germany, and true to form this Bavarian masterpiece features the all conquering Bayern Munich. It’s called ‘The Outsider’. Our four non-waistcoated footballers (Holger Badstuber, Xherdan Shaqiri, David Alaba and Jérôme Boateng) look ready for a fun afternoon at Munich’s Oktoberfest celebrations. Javi Martinez stands awkwardly to the left, confused. “The fuck am I wearing this waistcoat”, he wonders. Even worse, in some versions of this photo I found he’d been cropped out of it entirely. It’s tough being new, yeah?
4) Diego Milito, Inter, February 2013
This is probably the most haunting image of all the finalists. Stare into Diego’s dead eyes for too long and you may never recover. And, as if that wasn’t enough, you also have to process the most unconvincing thumbs up ever. He’s trying to be brave, but it’s just so utterly hopeless. Here lies the body of El Principe – once a deadly marksmen, now marooned on an island of soft furnishings. It’s about our mortality, yeah?
3. Torres and Benitez, Chelsea, January 2013
Now Magazine would love this: ‘Shock Torres and Benitez breakup! Fernando tells friends “It’s over!”’ I love the scowl on Torres’ face, and the concerned look on Benitez. I imagine Torres has just said, “Sure, I’ll sit on the bench. By the way, have you spoken to Roman recently? I’m seeing him later, I’ll be sure to mention you.” And Benitez has just realised that Torres might not have meant this in a good way.
2. Runner up: Pards, Newcastle, August 2012
Plenty of good entries on the short list, but some images stand head and shoulders above the competition. No need to add much to this one other than to say well done to everyone involved at Newcastle, and the linesman, whose name I couldn’t be bothered to look up. Let’s hope you can go one better next year and win the thing, eh?
1. The Winner: Patrice Evra, Manchester United, April 2013
Ok, not strictly a photograph, but my competition, my rules.
I don’t look forward to telling my son/daughted about the events that resulted in Luis Suarez becoming a prominent figure in Patrice Evra’s career. But, I DO look forward to showing them this picture, and having a good laugh at Suarez’s expense. Well done Manchester United. A worthy winner, unless you’re one of those Liverpool fans that tried to turn the focus against Evra by suggesting he was mocking victims of terrorism. Oh dear, football. See you this time next season.
